THAT NIGHT- cont

Towards them, I nodded slightly, looked at the road ahead of me and continued walking out. It was as if I were just seeing my mother facing me. She looked at me and said nothing. Her sad face made her look much older. I was quick to step ahead to grasp her hand. But the road light made the image vanish. I left BV and the girl there as I had previously denied my classmates’ a lot of fun, coffee, wandering several times so late. But I did not miss my evenings, studying times, my working hard for the coming college entrance exam.
On the way, down the slope, I did not feel as easy as usual. I wanted to run quickly to my rental room to lose myself in the blanket, facing down on the pillow. I wanted to sink into the dark, sink into a chaotic pile of formulas, definitions, hard confusing un-memorable rules. I wanted my Mom to hold me. I wanted to cry so much in her arms who I loved more than anyone else in the world. How could I tell BV how much I would love my mom. How could I explain how much I needed BV’s smiles and her eyes. How would I express how much I wanted to have a better future for me and my be-loved ones when I did not have as many advantages as many others around me did. I wished my mother to understand that I was always her pride. I wished my mother to be there nodding her head, smiling or raising her eyebrows.
Loving each other during schooldays can be harmless or extremely harmful. Who knows what affects the schooling? But everyone knows that spending on books, assignments and high school graduation could make the lights brighter, the future better and all mothers want their be-loved children to do more than anyone else. I asked her for a permission to go to school. I never make her sad. I never break my promise -where to go- how long to be out. I've never lost myself. And especially, I must make my mother pleased twice- one for her own will, the other for my dad’s. I must be two times better than anyone else.

That evening would also be a difficult night for her to sleep. She can curse me. She could wish that I would disappear. She could ignore me the next day. She could ask someone to give me a note,
"Do you know how much you hurt me?"
The following day, I could hand her a note to reply. In it, what would make her most interested would be,
"How can I use the words to describe how I have felt about you, about the love for my mother and how hard I will have to try to go to college- the first step in making a better life.”
Bao Loc has someone who has a great attraction, a sweet call, which always recalls me of it, always makes me to write about it to tell more people. Since what happened. that night, I have just revealed.
This is where I passed the most difficulties than any youth: love in schooldays, and graduating from high school.
I never create that moment again but that feeling still remains unchanged, beautifully.

Rach Gia Oct, 17, 2010