THE UNFORGETABLE NEW YEARS' EVE

THE UNFORGETABLE NEW YEAR’S EVE
People have things either to remember or to forget, so do I. But that night must be different than that of all the others’.
There is a time of apprehenion which begins with the beginning of the darkness, and to which only the speech of love can lend security. It is there, in abeyance, at the end of everyday, not urgent enough to be given the name of fear but rather of concern for how the hours are to be reprieved from fear, and those who have forgotten how it was when they were. Young men could remember nothing of it.
It may begin a few days before the lunar year in 1977. I was in charge of buying bus tickets for those in my university who were coming home for Tet festival including mine. I was supposed to do so as I had been to Dalat so many times that I was believed to be born there to be living there. Actually, I was born in Sai Gon and was living in CanTho and precisely just came back to Bao Loc where I had found a peaceful shelter- a happy family of one of my classmates- Thi Lun.
The only thing that time was just for my classmates who had known I had been involved with a wonderful girl- my God mother’s youngest daughter. They were delighted to be informed that I had a very good relationship with that family which I found very important. On the contrary, they didn’t know why I had never told them anything about my blood mother. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to make myself happy but there was one thing I would never be able to rebuild up, the terrible loss of my family, an irresponsible, a run away borther, a fled sister and a lonely mother who once hurt me mentally deeply. My God mother religiously believed that I was bought to her family by the will of God. She considered the day we met was created by God’s spirit. I won her daughter’s heart as soon as she met me. The more we were together, the better our relation ship would seem to be. Nohing in the world could stop her from falling in love with me when I was showing her I was independable enough, strong enough and brave enough to stand up in the stormy world. Neither she nor I closed our eyes to the fact that there were rumors, prejudice against us as well as our love affair. Almost all family members tried to stop me from becoming one of them. One of them suceeded in hurting my feeling, preventing me from coming back there. So, I went to Bao Loc borrowing Thi’s family’s happiness, getting through Tet, creating a rumor that I might have been thinking of one of Thi’s three sisters.
As I had been warmly welcome the previous times, I felt at home as soon as I arrived in Bao Loc. The father greeted me in a very friendly way. We shook hands and as quickly as a young man could, he brought a bottle of wine from the cupboard to offer me a welcoming- home cup of wine. I drank it as a beloved son did to swallow the feeling of pleasure. He afterward showed me how the home was prepared for such an occasion as he had recently been released from a re-education camp. He told me what he had been told about me ranging from working well in a couple of vacation, getting along well with anyone in the family, practicing football with Thi, doing no harm, causing no bad effects. In brief, my coimg there was as good as that of a blood son’s.
“Stay over here, son, we’d be happy to have you here with us.” said the father with hospitality.
“That’s very gracious of you, pa. Believe me. I appreciate it.” I replied heartedly.
We chatted for a while Ma Chanh was watching him having a good time with me who was obviously pleasantly impressed with the atmosphere, completely at ease, sipping the drink.
“You look possively haggard.” said Ma Chanh smiling at me.
“You’d better get some rest, son.”
I drew a soundless breath and went tense and my emotion stirred as I had heard them call me “son”. I physically and mentally felt better but obeyed what they asked me to do. I went inside washing my dirty and dusty face. Tears fell on my wet face as I recalled of my blood Mom in Can Tho. The tears made my eyes red so I felt embarrassed when hearing the girls’ yelling.
“Look! who is coming with us? Is that you, Brother Thanh Xi?
The youngest first skipped toward me following the other two. They surrounded me asking me for their gifts, hugging me lovingly. Lady, the youngest looked as if nothing in her mind could be compared with the joy of seeing me. She said curtly:
“Isn’t it customary to be naturally home for Tet festival, is it?”
Another went on:
“You’d better promise not to go anywhere afterward. You’re welcome.”
The other added:
“Would you be pleased to stay home in the new year’s Eve? We all will be attending the festival at the provincial millitary base to be with the army troop there.”
She went on giving me a nice smile:
“Would you stay home that night?”
“Me?” I asked.”Who do you think I mean? Oh, You mean you will be gone by then, do you?”
Ma Chanh appeared on time explaining:
“ They are all the youth cultural house’s members to do so. Isn’t time to have dinner? Bring the best food fot your brother, girls.”
I wished I would be there for good and I also wished my blood parents would treat me the same way. During dinner, they kept asking me how I had been studying, what I had eaten, how many years ahead I would go through to finish my college education. Ma Chanh was wondering if I would be interested in working here after my graduation. Ba Chanh who used to be tender, contended and taciturn dropped me some wine, giving some food which my blood father had never done. They all wanted to know if I would marry Ngoc or not. Whatever I heard, told and was asked might be what I would like to hear to tell and to be asked at my real home.
That night I silently cried as much as a young guy losing his best thing in life often did while almost the others felt like living in their own heaven on Earth.